Pros of being gay: both you and your wife would get into the lifeboats on the titanic.
3 words that completely changed my life once I fully accepted them (via mandolinaes)
i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed
i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police
if someone asks if youre wearing the same jeans as you wore yesterday and you are just say “have you ever heard of a washing machine” because they will think that you washed them but you are actually just assessing their knowledge of basic household appliances
Taking mental health advice from pastry recipes.
reblog if you’re the gay cousin
why are college and university textbooks so expensive, i could have bought four dogs instead of the textbooks i bought for this semester. and thats just sad. because now i’m broke, i have readings to do, and i don’t have four dogs.
u make my
me taking tests in school